It seems to me that the best way to identify a genuinely dedicated brony is by a mark of the Hasbro legal system. It’s not really something to be proud of, but I now bear that mark. This is not something I should be laughing at, but the irony is just too perfect.
It all started when I checked my email this morning…
I knew I was going to be receiving this message eventually, but I honestly expected it sooner. I mean, Hasbro slapping DMCA claims on fan-made videos is old news.
Before I go any further, I just want to point out that this video is a review, and embodies the textbook definition of Fair Use. That means that Hasbro doesn’t have any legal right to put a claim on my video. So, as any sentient being would have done, I decided to look at the details of the claim before I submit a counter-claim. It looked like any normal copyright notification, except for two small differences.
Well, obviously you can see what I highlighted and enlarged, but do you see the other detail? No? Okay, let me show you a claim on another video to compare.
Now can you guess? Besides the different claimants, the claim from Cartoon Network (Turner Broadcasting) provided me with the time range of the video in which the system saw and heard copyright footage. On the other hand, Hasbro provided me with “Visual content”. And since this was a manually-detected claim, whatever employee over there who filed this could’ve easily put in a timecode or two. That’s so lazy that if I were an executive at Hasbro, I would fire the employee to filed this.
Anyway, even though I knew Hasbro was in the wrong on this one and that I probably would be getting everything back to normal soon, I decided to check the analytics on this video just to see how much money Hasbro would’ve gotten from it. A fair reminder that the views on this video make up about 0.001% of the total views on my channel. I’m not even joking; I did the math.
Alright, so this is what the analytics page on YouTube looks like for those of you who don’t know. There’s a lot of useful stuff here when you want to know more about your audience. I didn’t include them in this image, but there are cool things like charts showing gender and age range of viewers, a map of the world coloring where your views are coming from, and you can even watch a graph of your views in real time! I think that’s pretty cool, but then again, I also think a kid’s show about magical candy-colored talking equines is cool.
Anyway, the amount of money the video has made is shown in the bottom right corner. Also note the video’s lifetime in the red box. 135 days before jumping into action is slow by the standards of Hasbro’s legal team. Let’s zoom into that box about the money so we can get a better look, shall we?
Oh, wait. Hold on. For a second there I thought that said the video made fourteen cents. Maybe I need to clean my glasses. Let me get a bit closer so I can see the actual number.
You know, I always heard people talking about how Hasbro is infested with money-grubbing executives, but I never really thought it was that bad until today.
Fourteen cents?! Fourteen goddamn cents?! Are you joking me? How fucking greedy do you have to be to have to practically come into my house and dig out all of the change between my couch cushions which fell out of my pockets, and then tell me that it’s actually them who own the couch and they get to keep all of the pocket change that falls between its cushions? Jesus H. Christ on rollerskates, it’s worse than I ever could’ve imagined. Let me just state this as simply and straightforward as possible… in large, bold text.
Hasbro went out of their way to pay an employee to place an objectively unlawful copyright claim on a video whose revenue generated by displaying advertisements equates to $0.14.
You seriously can’t make this stuff up. Now that I think about it, I should post this on /r/NotTheOnion when I’m done writing.
I’m gonna get some help from some internet people tomorrow with submitting a counter-claim. I wasn’t going to submit one at first, but now I am definitely going to. Not because I want fourteen cents, but because I don’t think Hasbro deserves fourteen cents with that attitude. If I had to make a list of dumbest things (MAD magazine-style) that happened to me this year, this would definitely be top 1 or 2.
Hasbro is obviously not getting better at this. If I have to, I’ll create a website that’s a safe haven from Hasbro’s (or any company’s) copyfraud. A website with actual humans who moderate these copyright claims. I’ll even pay for the damn thing as long as people want something like that and are willing to actually use it. Fuck it, I want to know now. Here’s a poll. Go vote.[wpdevart_poll id=”1″ theme=”1″]